Placing my head above the parapet!

(inspired by Tania West)

I’ve always loved escaping into an imaginary world where anything can happen, where dreams really do come true! It’s been a way of me working and processing through difficult times from young with maybe a bit of needed escapism mixed in. This is my meanderings recently in my adult imaginary world that also contains a degree of reality and truth in my thoughts and processing……….

I’m a princess (yes even at the upper end of 50!!!!) feeling despondent and frustrated at being locked up for so long, unable to escape into the freedom I love & treasure when I dress in disguise to escape the restraints of palace life to move freely amongst people from all walks of life. This worldwide pandemic has turned my life upside down and all that I hear is the clamouring voices of what plans to make, statistics of daily infections and deaths, whose health and fitness plan is the best one to follow, how to be a better at every role in life, how to stay safe etc. Much of it good to know, but how to choose which voice to listen to, what plan to follow, how to navigate this very abnormal way of life is just causing me to feel incapacitated rather than the opposite! Sometimes I find my hands flying up to my ears to try and drown out the voices, trying desperately to discern the one important voice, the one that does make a difference and bring hope!

Another day dawns with the same restrictions in place; my mind instantly thrown into a battlefield of what I choose to focus on, think about and do in this unnatural space. I make decision to take a walk up numerous flights of steps and put my head above the parapet; a place I’ve always been  warned to stay away from because of risk. “Stay in the safe place, you have everything you need here with no risk or danger,” are the words I have heard countless times from as soon as I could move around. There is no immediate cause for concern from a physical enemy at this time because the world is locked out, but it feels as though the silent enemy of this pandemic is all around invading every crevice and space it can get into. The thought of being in the open air is invigorating in itself but the fear of touching something that has remnants of the virus upon it is somewhat scary and causes me momentarily to want to turn back. Do I ignore the calls to a place I am drawn to be in and settle for the safe comfort zone, or do I persevere and continue? I can already feel the air changing, my heart beating a bit faster, a sense of excitement that beckons me. I pull myself up straight and continue with my eyes fixed upon what’s ahead.

As my head pokes through onto the parapet, I instantly feel as though I can breathe more deeply. I hold my breath as the rest of me emerges to stand upon the highest place of my castle. As I exhale  and gaze  out in wonder, I am transfixed by the vista before me; the spaciousness, the expanse, the beauty. As I lift my gaze it is as though I am able to see and feel differently, although nothing around me has changed. I am in a different place simply from making a choice of what to focus on and where to place my feet and my gaze!

Bookmark the permalink.

One Comment

  1. Brilliant…

    I just added a link to a Facebook group of mine, but pasted it here too as a backup…
    https://www.facebook.com/groups/2340491256254686/?ref=share

Comments are closed