“Sometimes I feel I want to run away”….was an infamous song in the 80’s. Recently as I was out for a jog, those words came into my mind along with the swirling whirlpool of thoughts spinning round and around about the implications and effects of Covid 19 upon this world and everybody I know. As I ran, I was reminded of a scene from the movie Forrest Gump where, as a young boy some bullies pick on him intending to do him harm. He begins to run, encouraged by his young friend and as he does so the callipers fall from his legs and he runs like the wind…the miracle his momma told him happens every day did ! It didn’t mean he wouldn’t still face life challenges and difficulties, but it did encourage him to move forward and keep going!
“What would be my miracle today; the ray of sunshine breaking through that would cause me to move forward rather than be bogged down, as well as enable me to be an encouragement in the life of my family and others around me?” This was the question cutting through my swirling mind, and one I felt compelled to pause for and sit on a sand dune overlooking the small beach we are privileged to have at the end of our road.
As the ebb and the flow of waves brought the soothing calm that in itself is always a wonderful mystery to me, I pondered this question. As I did so, I was reminded of many Psalms where David pours out his heart; his discouragement, anguish and confusion to God amid reminding himself of who God is, of his incomparable greatness, power and strength alongside tender love and compassion for all that he has made which includes me! As I gazed out across the vast ocean to the back drop of mountains these words darted across my mind; “EVEN IF”……..the mountains fall into the depths of the sea my amazing, miracle working, God is with me!
“God is the place I run to, he is my safe place and strengthens me, always with me and ready to help with whatever I am facing. Even if earthquakes come and the mountains fall into the sea, I have no need to be afraid. In the city of God where I will reside with him one day there is an everflowing river that brings a constant source of joy. It will never crumble or be destroyed because God himself protects it, and resides in the midst of it. Even if the nations are in chaos and their man made structures crumbling, the Lord of all the heavenly hosts is with us keeping us safe. Open your eyes to what he has done and is doing, there is nothing or no where his arm doesn’t reach. Take time to be still ,consider him and his ways. Honour him who is always with us, forever our safe place.”(My paraphrase of Psalm 46)
There is much happening all around that deeply saddens me. As we are involved feeding many families through our relief programme, grieve those we have lost to the silent enemy of Covid 19, see the crumbling of world systems and economy, the effects and undercurrents of major inequalities and injustices, the many differing voices and opinions around the world, I am reminded of an elderly man who upon encountering in Uganda some years back indelibly ingrained himself on my mind and heart. He had lost his entire family to civil war, been severely maimed through trying to protect those he had loved, yet he radiated joy, peace and love in a measure that found me wanting and desiring to have whatever he had!
As he shared with me horrific stories of love and pain it seemed that every weather beaten line on his face had a story to tell , but it was his ending words that took my breath away……..“When I lost everything, I felt my world had come to an end; what was the point of living? A still small voice within me answered “because I still have work for you to do on earth before you join the others you loved so well with me in eternity and receive your crown!” His eyes twinkled like a million stars as he added; “ for each one I help, I see him placing another jewel in my crown and hear his voice say “ well done good and faithful servant.” Here was a man who had learned to change his “If only” things were different I would… to “Even if” my world falls apart around me “I will”…. Circumstances may not change but where we place ourselves in the midst of those circumstances changes us and those we encounter irrevocably, I certainly was that day in Uganda!